One thing about life in the UK is that I get distracted easy, I’m pretty sure it’s not a new thing for me but I find you Brits so – how do I put this? Quirky, and for want of a better word, British!
I mentioned in my welcome post my skills at FFFG and how I could by an Olympian, well if being polite was a sport, the Brits would be the undefeated champions, no doubt!
I was walking on the sidewalk by the apartment I live in, a young woman was walking in one direction and an elderly man was walking in the opposite direction. What followed was almost five minutes of the funniest example of what being British is.
The man would go in one direction, so did the woman. They were both apologising and insisting the other person went first. This went on and on and on, back home, I’m pretty sure the woman would have just pushed the old guy over! It made me think of the Monty Python sketches my Dad used to watch when I was a kid.
The British are also obsessed with cups of tea, it seems any problem no matter how big or small can be solved or at least made manageable with a cup of tea. The wife drives me mad! Caught speeding? – Cup of tea! House has been flooded? – Cup of tea! Leg fallen off? – Cup of tea!
The British also ask a lot of stupid questions! I was in Tesco’s near where I live. I had 8 cans of beer, 2 bottles of wine, some chips and a few other items. The cashier was scanning the items and she said “Would you like a carrier bag?”. I looked at her puzzled, thinking “how the hell else am I supposed to get them home” but said, “We could do, unless you want to play the most expensive game of Jenga ever”. Her face didn’t move one bit as she said “I’ll take that as a yes then!”. I thought you Brits were famous for your sense of humour?
Also, what is with the obsession with the weather? Seriously, some days even the news is the weather and they end that news by talking about the weather! My head spins. “Whoa it’s too hot, I don’t like it this hot!” from the same wife who was complaining the week before about how cold she was.
It’s not just talking about the weather either, a sprinkle of sun and suddenly the Brits adopt new laws. The normally reserved Brits suddenly become extroverts and you can see topless, overweight guys basking in the sun as soon as it gets above 17 degrees. Drinking is suddenly acceptable at 11am, cars become mobile jukeboxes, ice-cream becomes the national dish and everyone in the whole neighbourhood decides to have a BBQ at the same time.
But as soon as you’re having fun, the British weather shows who has the biggest sense of humour and we get thunderstorms in August. Don’t change Britain, don’t change!
I’m also pretty good at the “five finger fillet” game or as you Brits will know it, the “stab between the fingers with a very sharp knife game”, if that ever becomes an Olympic sport, my fellow Americans will finally embrace me with open arms when I return with the Gold.